Military Sexual Trauma (MST)

What is Military Sexual Trauma?

Military Sexual Trauma is a specific type of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that happens when someone on active duty in the military is sexually assaulted. It can happen on duty, on the base, off duty, off the base and the perpetrator(s) can be civilian, military, higher ranking or lower ranking. Military sexual trauma is far more common than the public is aware of. Most people don’t think this kind of thing is quite a common experience of service people. The statistics in 2017 indicate 1 in 4 veteran women report this experience and 1 in 20 veteran men report this experience. The numbers are higher. Most of this type of crime goes unreported.

Who Experiences Military Sexual Trauma?

Sitting at a counter in a restaurant a man my age (around 60) notices my book I wrote sitting next to me. The tittle of the book is “Silence Is Violence # Me Too: Military Sexual Trauma.” “That happened to me,” he said. Being a good listener, I turned to him and nodded. He continued to disclose his experience to me. He had not told anyone since he was discharged from the military in 1986. This is not uncommon to push the trauma out of one’s mind and try to move forward with life. He told me he was 19 years old. He enlisted into the Army and was sent to Okinawa. His commanding officer repeatedly raped him for 4 months. He was severely traumatized and unable to function. He was discharged for substandard performance of duty, dishonorable, and without any benefits. He had been homeless on and off unable to hold down a job for decades when we met at the counter in the restaurant. He was traveling through my town.

I was at the farmers market buying produce when a middle-aged woman noticed my Air Force hat that I was wearing. She asked me if I was in the service.  I told her I was an Air Force Nurse. She nodded, “I was a Marines,” she replied. I asked her, “How was the experience for you? Was it good or traumatic?” She responded, “It was very rapey.” She would not go to the VA in any way shape of form and rarely admitted to anyone that she was a veteran. The reason. I wear my Air Force hat, is because I am trying to convince myself that I am a veteran. When I was discharged in 1988, I went to the West Los Angeles VA for help. The term “Military Sexual Trauma” did not exist. I could not articulate what had happened to me. I was told at the front desk by the check in clerk, “You are not a real Veteran…Your female.” I believed her and did not pursue help until 2012 when I worked at the West Los Angeles VA as a nurse and we had classes on Military Sexual Trauma. I was in class thinking… “You mean there is a name for what happened to me?” I am an MST survivor. I was put in unsecured housing off the base in a bad neighborhood outside the gates of March Air Force base. Perpetrators broke into my apartment, and I was beaten up and gang raped. I was not the only female officer that was placed in this apartment complex that this happened to. Months later my commanding officer reported  to the nurse internship group I was in that this had happened to her. I had not told anyone, and I felt guilty that it happened to her as if I had caused this to happen to her by not reporting it. After she shared this information with us, she disappeared. We had a new captain take her position. Later in life, I was shopping in the same farmer’s market where I had met the female Marine. Waiting in line I began to talk with another woman a few years younger than me. She was a nurse too and had been stationed 2 years after me at March Air Force base. I asked her whether it was a good experience for her or traumatic. She said traumatic. She was not raped but she told me as a nurse working there many of her nursing colleagues would disappear suddenly and the commanding officers would not give any explanation.

Why write about MST?

I am an MST survivor. I am a veteran. I am a nurse. This is a health problem that has a far-reaching effect on people and communities and is not sufficiently addressed. I spoke to younger veterans who say that rape is not really a problem because people are promiscuous now. I know as a Mental Health Nurse that promiscuity is a defensive reaction to the culture of rape in the military. If you give it away, then it is not really taken from you. I was not recognized as a veteran because I’m a female. I was not the only one who was told this back in 1988. I took the same oath that the male veterans took. I have been told, “What did you expect when you joined the military?” I did not expect to be raped. As a nurse I recognize this as a serious health issue because it causes a cascade of other health issues. I suffered cancer and blood pressure issues because of the maintained elevated levels of stress causing a sympathetic shift for a prolonged time. I want to help others heal and I want to help shift the culture of rape where trauma is a common occurrence to one where power over others in used to empower subordinates not to destroy them. That is true leadership. Encouraging maximum potential and optimal functioning of another human being. This is how we will be a powerful nation under God individual and with liberty and justice for all.

Heidi Lobstein MSN, RN 2025